Sigh...

sometimes its quite sad when things like this happens...
i've been brooding over it for a week now and seriously touch my heart and ask myself, i can only guess what happened but will never know why. Its depressing when things turn out otherwise and when you do hang out with other friends you feel a tinge of . . . . . regret?

I guess it's better this way too. Read some stuff to realise that life does INDEED go on no matter the circumstance. Striking out on my own again. i look out the window of my 17th floor flat and i contemplate about being myself. In the end its not about winning is it?

I glance at my last entry date and today's. It's been a long time, so much have happened since then. Maybe that's why they say after a certain age, time seems to get shorter and pass faster. Precisely because there are more activities that require your time, more things you wanna do and more that you wanna achieve. But all in that same frame that we were brought up : 24 hrs a day.

I think i have about maybe $250 to my name? and that is until my next pay-daY? i seriously need a rain-check. Get everything to do with finances back in order. When people say hey you are a officer what, earn quite a bit etc etc. Well let me enlighten you: it cannot upkeep my lifestyle. Yes i know, i LOVE good food, fine dining,expensive entertainment, drinking, ktv, clubbing and the cabs that prevent me from being the 'last team to arrive and eliminated from the race' ( too much reality tv) but really that is me. Take that away and you do not get Mark Kay. Dont expect me to breed another few bitches of any of my ex. No aint gonna happen again.